Remarriage: Tying the Knot or Not
Whether it be GREY DIVORCE or the loss of your spouse, finding yourself alone in your golden years can be devastating. Many Seniors search for a partner to fill loneliness gap. Some choose to cohabitate sharing living expenses and social activities. Others choose remarriage, formally joining their lives and families. There are pros and cons to both, with legal entanglements that may not be fully thought through.
GREY DIVORCE: a modern term for discovering you have grown so far apart from your spouse that spending your retirement with them just won’t be possible. A divorce occurs, with all of your assets divided, and in some cases, spousal support awarded. Retirement savings, pensions and all of the things you collected and built together are divided. Social Security benefits are still available to the lower wage earner, just as if they were still married, but healthcare benefits may be lost by one spouse if coverage is not defined in your divorce agreement.
Keep in mind you MAY lose some or all of the financial arrangements agreed upon in the divorce if you remarry. You should speak to an attorney to understand how a re-marriage will impact your awarded income.
LIVING TOGETHER: it doesn’t necessarily have to be a romantic relationship that makes you choose to cohabitate. Living expenses are shared, reducing costs for both, and loneliness is staved off. Social Security is not impacted. Essentially, you are considered two good friends who live under the same roof without any legal entanglements. At least until one of you either needs assistance or passes away.
Did one of you move into the others home? Will the home be part of the estate, causing the remaining partner to need to move, in some cases very quickly? You can prepare for this by re-deeding your property, or giving LIFE RIGHTS to your partner. This could allow them to stay in the home for the rest of their life, if they choose. Remember your heirs become the legal homeowners of your property, obliged to pay the taxes, mortgage and maintenance of the property. Is this a fair arrangement, or financially feasible for them?
What about the contents of your home. Heirs may feel they are entitled to all items in your home. Was there anything jointly purchased, or brought into your home by your partner? Clear records may be needed.
In addition, your partner will not have any legal authority over your healthcare or financial affairs. Consider what might happen if your children think a nursing facility is best for you, while your partner is willing and able to care for you at home (just as an example)?
MARRIAGE: Unlike living together, a married partner has full spousal rights and obligations. If you are unable to manage your healthcare or financial affairs on your own, your new spouse is able to handle both. If you pass away, unless you have legally stipulated in a WILL what your children should receive, your estate will go to your spouse in full. Accounts that are jointly held will now be your spouses alone. Again, the home you live in, may legally be transferred to your new spouse, unless titled in a way that provides for your heirs.
The debts of one spouse become the debts of the other. If you marry with a mountain of medical debt, the minute you say I DO that debt becomes a shared responsibility.
Joining your two families isn’t always as seamless as you may hope. Family members have their own memories and may not be as eager to embrace the new blended group, Create new holidays or vacation traditions may cause tensions you didn’t account for.
Even if all goes well up front, what will happen if you or your new spouse passes away? The assets that came with each of you when you married may now be transferred to your new spouse. When they pass on those assets become part of their estate. Imagine if you pass first, the home your daughter grew up in winds up in your spouse’s hands, and in turn will pass to his/her heirs. That home could easily be sold by their children. All of the memories, and money you put into that home are now lost. OR all of the heirloom furniture, passed down through your family, generation after generation, are sold without your children having any input or claim.
A well written prenuptial agreement might be wise. However, in the case of MEDICAID a prenuptial agreement is not given any consideration.
There could be an impact on your Social Security and/or alimony income, if applicable, if you choose to remarry too.
SSDI: Social Security Disability Income, if you receive it, will be impacted by your living arrangements. If you receive SSDI speak with the SSDI office to fully understand how living with a partner or remarriage reduces your benefits.
When we are young, we come together with limited assets to consider. Hearts and hormones fill our thoughts and love leads us. Sadly, in our golden years, our heart cannot take the lead alone. It needs to be a partner with the brain, navigating legalities and financial complications.
RESOURCES
5 Things Seniors Should Consider Before Remarriage
Living Together: 11 Reasons for Seniors to Consider
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